IL PRIMO BACIO Sweet lotion 220 ml by Magic Eyes

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Continuing from La Bocca Della Verita, we have it’s companion lotion Il Primo Bacio.

Il Primo Bacio or “The first kiss” (Sounds right I think. I’ve seen other sites calling it Saliva of the Truth. Really can’t tell which is correct.) is a lotion made especially for La Bocca Della Verita or any oral onahole for that matter. And it really shows.

ToyDemon ($14.95) $

Otonajp ($8.91) $

This bottle is 220 ml (~7.44 oz), a middle ground of your average bottle of lotion, between the 100 ml to 300+ ml range.

This is different: it pours down; no need to flip it upside down for the lotion. Also: La berita e figlia del tempo (“The truth and daughter time”) This line reappears.

The bottle looks nice and it’s practical. Gripping is not compromised and it sticks out in any collection.

The bead of saliva…yeah, you know this will a great lotion when you see this.

When I used this lotion, unless my memory is wrong about events from no earlier than 24 hours, that (the line/bead) of saliva happened to me. I’ll check later to confirm this. Also, I noticed sliding in La Bocca was easier with this lotion than it was with Superb Fella Lotion, but I’m guessing it depends on your experience.

Another side, don’t know why I include this.

But here comes one little surprise:

The cover slides out! I’m guessing to better see how much lotion you have left? It’s the little details that make a difference.

But before we end here, I’d like to say…something. And by that, I mean I’ll look up an online translation of what I want to say.

Oh grande lozione!Ascolta la mia chiamata.
Chiedo per piacere. E notti meno solo.
Che il piacere da La Bocca della Verita è amplificato.
E che video smutty portare un climax.
Hail Il Primo Bacio!


  • FEEL:10/10 Like Superb Fella lotion, but feels a slightly less thick.
  • MATERIAL: 9/10 Hey whatever they use, it’s used well.
  • PRICE: 9/10 No complaints
  • ADDITIONS/BONUSES: 9/10 Why wasn’t a little packet of this packed with La Bocca Della Verita? I guess it would have been too expensive.
  • EASE OF USE: 9/10 Different shaped bottle. Takes time to get used to it pouring down and not turning it upside down.

FINAL SCORE: 46/50 or 92%. Once again, great bottle, excellent lotion. Words can’t do it complete justice, though I tried.

See you again!

Pro lotion 360ml by A-One

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Feels like it’s been a while since I last talked about any lotion.

Edit: BACK IN JULY?! How did I survive this long without opening a new bottle? That I will never know.

Maybe it feels that way because I have stuck with at most three different types of lotions that I have previously reviewed and can’t remember which ones. But that’s not what’s important here; what’s important is reawakened pleasure with something new.

ToyDemon ($15.95, now $11.95) $

According to the website, this lotion is what the “pros”  use (so either the actual porn professionals or the consumer is not too clear, but we can guess which they mean)

Yeah, I do get the feeling that I make have seen this kind of bottle in a porn somewhere.

An excellent bottle, I believe 360 ml (~12.2 oz) is on the higher side of how much lotion is in a bottle, should last awhile.  Maybe it’s the fact that the types of lotions I’ve used in the past few months, but this one felt really good! Reminds me of some earlier lotions I’ve used, but in a higher quality.

It actually feels like lotion instead of something similar. Easy to grip, what more do I need to say?

There is also a cap that twists out. No worries about it leaking out.


  • FEEL: 10/10 That lubed up feel as got to be one of the best feeling in the world.
  • MATERIAL: 10/10 Light and not stringy
  • PRICE:9/10 There is no problem with price, I just expected to find it avaible on more than one site
  • ADDITIONS/BONUSES:8/10 A twist off cap; I rarely see this, much less done well.
  • EASE OF USE: 10/10 Just don’t go too crazy with this, or else cleaning may be a problem.

FINAL SCORE: 47/50 or 94%. Easy storage, can’t go wrong with this one.

See you all next time. Will the next one be from the preview? We’ll see.

Single’s Day part 3: Hory Shet! That’s just too much toys

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Time of this writing:  Feb. 14 12:00 AM

More self pleasure, this year, I got caught up in editing a video I downloaded (Completely unrelated, just it out of boredom and because horny)

Same topic: The collection I have accumulated over the year. And I think I dug myself in a hole; I couldn’t fit everything in one place or in one picture, but then I remembered that in part 1 (the first Valentine’s day post) I took several pictures. So I don’t feel too bad about it. But I grow worried I’ve bought too much, mostly because a delivery ended up taking almost 2 months.

But I’m not here to rant. I’m here to share and see how the collection has changed since last year.





Collection as of Feb. 2017.

One upside to this huge collection is that I will have plenty of material to work with in the coming months. And this can serve as a preview.

Well you know the drill, take care of your lover, yourself, and your onaholes. I’m off to decide which one will I treat with care tonight.

Onii Tama Cock Ring by NPG

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Ring. Around the penis. Once again, we come to this topic. I’ll try to not be so long winded this time. Well, depends if there needs to be alot said.

Anyway, here is the new one.

ToyDemon ($9.95, now $8.95)$

Unlike the Mini Cock Ring (also by NPG), this ring actually feels comfortable at the beginning.

Clouds that either have breast shaped or testicle shaped noses? Maybe they’re supposed to be sperm?

Dimensions: L x W x H (3″ x 2.5″ x 1.25″) or (7.62 cm x 6.35 cm x ~3.18 cm)

This cock ring is part of a line of three cock rings released by NPG which also include the Onee Tama cock ring (breasts instead of balls) and the King Tama Cock ring (bigger, symmetrical balls)

Comes in a bag, I was expecting a little box like the last two ring sets, but it doesn’t matter. Simple bag to throw away after opening or keep, assuming you don’t get confused by this bag’s folds.

Even keeps it somewhat realistic: one ball is lower than the other. I get you can put it on based on your dominant hand, or the opposite just for fun.

In terms of stretchiness, I would rank it above Mini Cock ring but below EroiNger Cock Ring set; not too hard, not as soft or stretchy. I was initially worried it would not stretch due to the smaller diameter.

Maybe this happened due to a bad experience I had with it, but when I was all “warmed up”, it didn’t slide on easily, maybe because of the lotion I used. Once I got it on, it pulled the foreskin too far back and the semi-exposed head touch the inside of the onahole.

Thinking back, I have no idea how I made cock rings work before, maybe you really do need a real partner to make it work, assuming you can convince your partner to go along with this silly cock ring.

jokes aside let’s finish here.

  • FEEL: 6/10 Doesn’t slide too easily. Caution if you have foreskin or penis sensitivity.
  • MATERIALS: 7/10 Stretches at least.
  • PRICE: 7/10 Decent for one ring
  • ADDITIONS/BONUSES:7/10 Comes in a plastic bag.Less waste I guess.
  • EASE OF USE: 7/10 Exactly how easy will require more testing.

FINAL SCORE:  34/50 or 68%. Falls short of being really decent. But again, more testing could improve this score. At least you can pretend you have 4 testicles, and be slightly harder.

2017 onahole preview/ Fuku-Bukuro 2017 — Ultimate Japanese Adult Lucky Bag From JList


Hello, it’s kind of late to post something like this almost a month through 2017, but I finally got my package that I was waiting for.

I also was considering a short live stream, but I have no idea how I would pull this off. Also, I ordered this package back in early December last year and just got it a few days ago. Hope it’s worth the wait.

Notice: this is more of a preview of what you will see on the site. Full reviews of the products will come at a later time.

Anyway, here is a little of what you can expect this year.

Box is upside down because my invoice information was there.
What will we find inside?
Our first item is a SD Tenga. Nice, nice. Looks good so far.

Next we have:

A mini onahole. No idea what’s the name. Edit: Fuwatoro Meiki Mini is the name.

Oh boy, if I don’t know the name, how can I talk about these products? Hopefully, by  the time I do the reviews, I will know the names and I remember to come back and edit this.

A bullet vibrator. And it comes with batteries. Very nice.

so I’m 1-1-1 for the products here. Ok I guess. Moving on:

Another mini vibe. And it looks like it could connected as a keychain. Not that I’d do that myself.
A little bottle of lotion. Ku.So No.Ha? Kusonoha? I’ll call it that for now. Also it has a clear pink tint? Interesting. Edit: About 2 oz.

Our next item is:

A JAV onahole. Air in Premium? Also, surprisingly, I found it rare that I see nipples on the front of the box. More on this onahole later.
A stack of DVDs was included. I wonder what genres are represented here. Edit: below from left to right: BDSM, Tan(?), Idol (JAV idol?), Incest
See video below (Edit: Disc only one was massage)

// ytCropper


“Hory Shet” indeed. Like damn, at least one or two look like some hardcore stuff. I was hoping for at least one hentai though. Maybe the disc only one might be one (Edit: It’s another JAV). I don’t know if I want to watch the DVDs or if I even can (Edit: I can watch it).

A sealed pair of panties. I swear I’m going down the weird path of the pervert. French text by the looks of it. May get back on that.
And a red paper bag to end the preview.

Thanks for your time. Hope you are excited for these and other upcoming product reviews. And again, this was delayed due to the holidays and general problems in the mail. Hope I didn’t disappoint. If I did, I’ll make it up later, you’ll see.

Vorze Smooth Lotion 5 oz by Rends

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The great thing about lotions is that it gives the user the simulated feeling of vaginal secretion or allows ease in entry into orifices (not getting into taboo stuff here). But the problem with most bottle is the your hands get so messy and sticky that holding an onahole is a difficult task. And if it’s not that, it’s the size and bulkiness of these bottles. Now, I’m not saying the size or bulk is a huge problem, I just wonder if there could be an easier solution, like those bottles of hand soaps in bathrooms. Well what if I told you there is? (unless you actually want to take the idea and see how that goes.)

Hi, I’m WavyTurtle, and  here is a product that though I am not associated with but rather have used personally, it’s the Vorze Smooth Lotion by Rends. The Answer to less sticky palms and sheets when using the wonderful products of onaholes. Think of the time you could save from after masturbation; less mess and dryer hands. There is no way that can have any consequence only benefits and lots of pleasure. But rather than explain it all, I’ll show this product.
CoolMaleSexToy ($12.99) $ ($14.95) (£9.75) (US $15) (Confused about the price; $40?) (HKD $100.00) (USD $8.79)

After twisting, the mechanism to allow lotion to squirt out, allowing easy access.

145 ml (close to 5 oz) of goodness here, despite the seemingly small amount per unit. The feeling and convenience more than makes up for the quantity with quality. And just when it seems this can’t get better, it has been said to go great with a Vorze A10 Cyclone SA Masturbator (I really want to feel that. Maybe some day.) One more thing, and my picture cannot show it properly, but here it is anyway.

It looks a lot like the Semen Like Lube by MC!

Like I just said, it shares a few similarities with Semen Like Lube, like look and color, but that’s where the similarity ends. For one, it is not as stringy as simulated semen, meaning easier application on penis and onahole. Like earlier, the bottle has a function that allows ease in squeezing out into an onahole as well as a smaller size. I guess this is more for women and guys who’re not as comfortable with their sexuality and find simulated semen too “gay” or “much”.

So with all that out of the way, let’s review this:

  • FEEL: 9/10 Feels less stringy, more like most lotions
  • MATERIAL: 9/10 Light and not too thick
  • PRICE: 9/10 though price is all over the place, that doesn’t matter too much.
  • ADDITIONS/BONUSES: 8/10 Just a bottle…with a dispenser (that’s the word I was looking for!)
  • EASE OF USE: 9/10 Being thinner means less effort needed to clean up.

FINAL SCORE: 44/50 or 88%. Overall, excellent bottle. Easy to store, easy to clean. And it can be consider at least one level down on the scale of sexual taboo than the Semen Lube (at least I consider it that).

I’ll see you all again when inspiration and sexual frustration brings us together again. Or maybe curiosity? Don’t think about it too much.

Update 7/20/2016. Ingredients. That’s a first.

Purified water, Thickener, Emulsifier, Preservative, Hyaluronic acid Na, Arginine

Mini Cock Ring(Tan) by NPG

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So here we are. Back here, talking about cock rings again.

For those who are not aware, I have review a set of cock rings previously.

Here is the link: Eroinger Cock Rings

And although I have even less of a clue of who the maker could be, I have actually found out through a site.

Toydemon ($4.95, now $1.95)$

Oh boy, with this price, it is either a steal or one of the absolute worst products on the market (OK maybe not that bad, there are worst products out there).

There is also a distinct lack of measurement. That would really help with this kind of thing; knowing the width of these rings would really help since men can have different lengths and girths, especially between different racial group (can I say that?)

This set also includes a set of three rings and a clear box with some text at the bottom.

You remember this line from the Eroinger (Eroranger) review?

…Supposedly, it helps maintain an erection, pulls back foreskin (if it’s there), and may have nubs or protrusions on the front that arouses and rubs against the partner.

Well to be fair, this set doesn’t have protrusions or nubs so it gets a pass on the third feature, but it does not fulfill the first two. Supposedly, they stretch, but that is not true.If it doesn’t stretch, maintaining an erection is difficult. And the pulling back of foreskin? It does that part too well; with it, I felt less sensitive and could not achieve sweet climax. Delays the possibility of an orgasm by more than one minute, but that may make very little difference.


Can you guess which I used?

Disappointingly, the user does not receive an increase in strength or sexual prowess. Maybe this is more suited for actual sex rather than masturbation/ onahole sex.


  • FEEL: 5/10 Does not slide on easily, even with lotion.
  • MATERIALS: 5/10 The material doesn’t not stretch and feels like hard plastic.
  • PRICE: 5/10 This would be better, but the price deserves its price.
  • ADDITIONS/BONUS: 5/10 The plastic box it came it is pretty decent looking, does not add much.
  • EASE OF USE: 5/10 Again, using it is too difficult. But maybe I am not the right guy to use this.

FINAL SCORE: 25/50 or 50%. So  bottom line: there are way better cock rings out there. On the upside, I didn’t get cucked. That is one of the few things good about it.


Semen Like Lube by MC

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Now here’s a strange item for today: A bottle of semen.

Yes, you read that right; a bottle of semen…except its not exactly that. It’s lube that looks like semen. Nothing like love juice lotion (though this is the male variant) ($13.99)

Another thing: it seems that the company MC is either so obscure in the onahole/lotion circle or it no longer exists. I couldn’t find out which is it. The only other thing I found that they made were nipple clamps called Chikubitch.


So yes this is something that actually exists. And it is…realistic, yes that’s how I would describe it.

Now where to start…oh yes! Now you can embrace either your bukkake fetish, how it feels to have sloppy seconds, like if someone used your onahole without the worry of contracting a venereal disease/STD’s or the warmth of the onahole been used earlier, feel like you went a few rounds of sex like in hentai, pretending to swallow semen without the actual taste  or if you are like that, some NTR action. Though I don’t have those fetishes, I feel like I know the feeling of having those fetishes.


The bottle is 300 ml or ~10.1 fl oz, weighs 1 lb or ~0.45 kg. The lotion itself is not like other lotions; for example, it is more stringy, like semen when you have not came for a few days rather than slimy like other lotions. Thankfully, it doesn’t have the smell of semen. It also said tasteless, though I will not confirm that. Viscosity is high and it is a little difficult to clean up, but not by much. With a few exceptions, this is essentially a bottle of semen (except it’s actually a bottle of lotion. Also, best keep this away from others, they may think it’s actually a bottle of semen). I also recommend that you either mix this with water or a “slimier” lotion to ease insertion/use. A chafed penis would ruin your night.

Here is a quote from the Queen Cat site: “Because it is a water-based lubricant, it is safe to use with all kinds of toys, and how you use it is really up to you. Just make sure it doesn’t get on your pants and walk in public without knowing. People would think you just masturbated.” I found that to be hilarious, because it’s true.

Rating time:

  • FEEL: 9/10 Even if you don’t like the feel of semen, this lotion is great.
  • MATERIAL: 9/10 Stringy, but workable.
  • PRICE: 8/10 Only one source? Hard to tell if it’s a fair price.
  • ADDITIONS/BONUSES: 7/10 Just a bottle, no bonus.
  • EASE OF USE: 8/10 It’s actually not very hard to clean up. Just takes a little more effort compared to other lotions.

FINAL SCORE: 41/50 or 82%. Perhaps it’s not as good as I’m making it out to be? But I still like it and think many others would too. I guess it is too strange to be available everywhere online, but who knows.

See you all again another time right here.

Single’s/Valentine’s/Onahole day 2

Time of this writing: February 14, 11:30 pm. (part 1)

Hello Once again everyone single, coupled, or otherwise.

I am the same here, stayed home, caught up with a show online, about to watch some hentai or porn. An eroge or two I am considering instead. Again, don’t feel bad, I chose this, more or less.

Since I did it last year, I’ll do it again: update on collection. And again, not bragging here.


Collection as of Feb. 2016

…yeah, it seems smaller this year. Maybe because most of the boxes are gone.

Have fun! Don’t hurt anyone, and happy fapping or sexy time!

Honestly, now I want to go take an onahole and…you know, fap, masturbate, whatever you would call the act of sexual pleasure of self. The anime valentine’s cards still get me.

USB Onahole Warmer By Rends 2.0

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Long title, but yeah.

Remember the first one?  I believe I said something about warming up cold or lifeless onahole and that the warmer could solve that problem (the first, not the second)  ($7.97)(probably not the one I’m talking about)

Toydemon ($9.95 now $8.95) $ (the one I’m talking about). ($23)

MotsuToys (€9.95) ($9.95)

Coolmalesextoy ($9.99, now $8.99) $

MyOnahole (¥800 JPY) $

A lot is the same, some differences start from this point.

It doesn’t overheat like the previous version, the heat stays inside the onahole and the wire is longer. reaches the same maximum temperature 107.5°F (42°C).


However, like the previous version, leaving it in too long will melt the inside of the onahole.


  • FEEL: 10/10 Still fits inside onaholes with no problems.
  • MATERIAL: 10/10 No overheat, easier to handle
  • PRICE: 10/10 Though, it’s a bit more than the version 1, it still fits in your budget.
  • ADDITIONS/BONUSES: 8/10 Same as before; Not necessary, but very enjoyable (when used with onahole, don’t know how it is by itself.)
  • EASE OF USE: 8/10 Lowered likelihood of melted onaholes or burning crotches (from heat)

FINAL SCORE: 46/50 or 92% Greatly improved version, price isn’t too much, and helps fight winter coldness in your onaholes. Could a  version 3 beat this? Time will tell.