Maid in Fella by Toyheart

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After a hard day, I like to relax, sit back, load a video…and think how my life could improve. After watching some anime, I see plenty of protagonists who surround themselves with girls and women of various types and costumes. But one type in particular has caught my interest and relates to what I want to talk about: maids.

Think about it: a girl who serves you for whatever purpose you assign to her while she calls you master ( ご主人様!). All the while in a maid outfit, providing some eyecandy depending how sexy and how it brings out certain traits of her. And I’m sure I’m not the first to think this, but have you ever wondered if maids…please the master…at night…in his room…with her…heart and soul. Or maybe she uses her body in certain ways to receive praise from the master. (私を賞賛!) A maid could make one hell of a housewife if you think about it, (あなたはそれについて考えていますか?) cooking, cleaning, beauty, faith, that your pick! Also, does anyone think a master would take a maid for a wife? (マスターは、あなたがそのように私を愛していますか?) Maybe it’s more common in hentais than real life. (step, step, step) Great fantasy nonetheless (*glomp* *Squish*) Oh, right the review! (あなたの前にそれを開始します)(*suck* *lick*)hmm…must resist…ahh!

I gotta start the review (しかし、私はちょうどしたいです) Right, my maid, meet her. (こんにちは、私は主人の妻です)

Weight: 0.82 lb (13.12 oz or ~371.95 grams)

L x W x H: (6″ x 3″ x 2.75″) or (15.24 cm x 7.62 cm x ~6.99 cm)

Tunnel L x W: (5″ x 0.50″ max, 0.125″ min) or (12.7 cm x 1.27 cm max, ~0.32 cm min)

CoolMaleSexToy ($39.99, now $34.99)$ (US $36)

ToyDemon ($39.95, now $35.95) $

Otonajp ($29.61) ($45.00 USD) (USD 36.53) (AU$55.00) ($27.46)

MyOnahole (¥2,950 JPY) $

A cutie, right? (私は名前のマスターを持っています!) …To quote a great man: “Wat dat mouf do?” (あなたは私の口を好きですか?)

This girl on the box, a real cutie and some great fap material, but the real pleasure comes from what’s inside the box.

Some tongue!
Comes with ToyHeart’s own Moisty lotion (20ml) (~0.68 oz)
You could put this in a museum and it would not be nsfw. (私はあなたが冗談を言っている願っています…)

Few minutes in and I already don’t like the lotion. Why a small amount? I mean it’s like 33% more lotion than an average single use lotion packet, but that’s still small for a bottle. Regardless, it is great and the mouth…

Close up of mouth. A tongue and some teeth can kind of be seen.

Feels better than A-One’s Superb Fella 3. I have an easier time inserting myself inside and staying inside. (*zip*). The teeth don’t feel hard, the tongue stimulates my member and the lotion included is kind of like saliva style lotion, except not as thin. And the outisde is made for a easy grip. I can imagine that right now. (*suck**suck**lick*)

Now for the results:

  • FEEL: 10/10 Feels soft all around rather than both soft and firm. I like this a lot.
  • MATERIAL: 10/10 TPE. Again, whatever excellent material
  • AVERAGE PRICE: 8/10 Varied. But wherever purchased would be a good investment.
  • ADDITIONS/BONUSES: 8/10 The fact that only a little lube is given lowered this score.
  • EASE OF CLEANING: 10/10 However cleaning is quite simple.

Final Score:  46/50 or  92%. Even though I said this is superior in feel, (*lick**lick**suck*) it still ended up with the same score as Superb Fella 3. I guess the fact that this is a different oral onahole that makes it feel like it would get a higher score.

With that said, I will see you (*spurt**spurt**moan*)…I will see you all later. Seems like someone got my attention. (良いマスターはでしたか?). (Already best maid in my book and bag.) Looks like I could go again!

Vorze Smooth Lotion 5 oz by Rends

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The great thing about lotions is that it gives the user the simulated feeling of vaginal secretion or allows ease in entry into orifices (not getting into taboo stuff here). But the problem with most bottle is the your hands get so messy and sticky that holding an onahole is a difficult task. And if it’s not that, it’s the size and bulkiness of these bottles. Now, I’m not saying the size or bulk is a huge problem, I just wonder if there could be an easier solution, like those bottles of hand soaps in bathrooms. Well what if I told you there is? (unless you actually want to take the idea and see how that goes.)

Hi, I’m WavyTurtle, and  here is a product that though I am not associated with but rather have used personally, it’s the Vorze Smooth Lotion by Rends. The Answer to less sticky palms and sheets when using the wonderful products of onaholes. Think of the time you could save from after masturbation; less mess and dryer hands. There is no way that can have any consequence only benefits and lots of pleasure. But rather than explain it all, I’ll show this product.
CoolMaleSexToy ($12.99) $ ($14.95) (£9.75) (US $15) (Confused about the price; $40?) (HKD $100.00) (USD $8.79)

After twisting, the mechanism to allow lotion to squirt out, allowing easy access.

145 ml (close to 5 oz) of goodness here, despite the seemingly small amount per unit. The feeling and convenience more than makes up for the quantity with quality. And just when it seems this can’t get better, it has been said to go great with a Vorze A10 Cyclone SA Masturbator (I really want to feel that. Maybe some day.) One more thing, and my picture cannot show it properly, but here it is anyway.

It looks a lot like the Semen Like Lube by MC!

Like I just said, it shares a few similarities with Semen Like Lube, like look and color, but that’s where the similarity ends. For one, it is not as stringy as simulated semen, meaning easier application on penis and onahole. Like earlier, the bottle has a function that allows ease in squeezing out into an onahole as well as a smaller size. I guess this is more for women and guys who’re not as comfortable with their sexuality and find simulated semen too “gay” or “much”.

So with all that out of the way, let’s review this:

  • FEEL: 9/10 Feels less stringy, more like most lotions
  • MATERIAL: 9/10 Light and not too thick
  • PRICE: 9/10 though price is all over the place, that doesn’t matter too much.
  • ADDITIONS/BONUSES: 8/10 Just a bottle…with a dispenser (that’s the word I was looking for!)
  • EASE OF USE: 9/10 Being thinner means less effort needed to clean up.

FINAL SCORE: 44/50 or 88%. Overall, excellent bottle. Easy to store, easy to clean. And it can be consider at least one level down on the scale of sexual taboo than the Semen Lube (at least I consider it that).

I’ll see you all again when inspiration and sexual frustration brings us together again. Or maybe curiosity? Don’t think about it too much.

Update 7/20/2016. Ingredients. That’s a first.

Purified water, Thickener, Emulsifier, Preservative, Hyaluronic acid Na, Arginine